My friend Dave Murray has posed this question a few times. It would be a good subject for a poll of music fans, a chance to explore what seemingly essential artists one would elect personally to just skip entirely. I’d think the discussion should be limited to the plausible; you wouldn’t expect a 58-year-old rockin’ pop fan like me to have much–if any–current Top 40, country, metal, or hip hop in my listening queue, so that’s not what we’re talking about. It’s also not about an iPod specifically, nor any other portable music player. It can be about the music in your head, the stuff you’d listen to when you call the shots and you make the playlist. For the sake of expedience, let’s call that your iPod.
So. What’s not on your iPod?
Dave and I have bounced the question back and forth for a good long time. For me, a lot of my expected pop bogeymen are on my iPod. I’ve got Bob Seger (I like “Get Out Of Denver,” “Heavy Music,” and “Hollywood Nights”). I’ve got The Eagles (“Take It Easy” and “Already Gone”). I’ve got Styx (I love both “Lorelei” and “Kiss Your Ass Goodbye”). I even have the hated REO Speedwagon (“Tough Guys”). I don’t have a lot of Dylan or Springsteen, but they’re there. The Grateful Dead and Pink Floyd, too. Amidst my preferred mix of Beatles, Kinks, Ramones, Flashcubes, Monkees, Chuck Berry, power pop, Motown, British Invasion, soul, bubblegum, surf, punk…well, it’s all part of my preferred mix, up to and including Phil Ochs, Percy Faith,and Grandmaster Flash. It’s all pop music, anyway.
What’s not on my iPod? Well….
As I was listening to the radio the other day, the local airwaves reminded me of a popular classic rock act whose music always prompts me to change the station, every time. And that act is Lynyrd Skynyrd.
It’s not that I hate Lynyrd Skynyrd. Lynyrd Skynyrd is in The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, and it’s a group that deserves to be in The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. I’m not hostile. I’m not exactly indifferent, but it’s music that I just don’t care to listen to. Ever. I understand its appeal. The audience for that appeal does not appeal to me.
There are, of course, many other acts whose records are likewise alien to the rich ‘n’ fertile playground of my iPod. There’s no Frank Sinatra or Stevie Ray Vaughan. There’s no Van Halen, though it’s theoretically possible I would consider adding “Dance The Night Away” or “Runnin’ With The Devil” someday. There’s for damned sure no Dave Matthews Band; that one’s probably a given. And I’d take a truncheon to the damned thing if it tried to play Kid Rock, whom I loathe. But, among worthy acts that just ain’t my cuppa, Lynyrd Skynyrd tops the list of what’s not on my iPod. Turn it up? Turn it off. Your iPod may vary. What’s not on your iPod?
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Our new compilation CD This Is Rock ‘n’ Roll Radio, Volume 4 is now available from Kool Kat Musik! 29 tracks of irresistible rockin’ pop, starring Pop Co-Op, Ray Paul, Circe Link & Christian Nesmith, Vegas With Randolph Featuring Lannie Flowers, The Slapbacks, P. Hux, Irene Peña, Michael Oliver & the Sacred Band Featuring Dave Merritt, The Rubinoos, Stepford Knives, The Grip Weeds, Popdudes, Ronnie Dark, The Flashcubes,Chris von Sneidern, The Bottle Kids, 1.4.5., The Smithereens, Paul Collins’ Beat, The Hit Squad, The Rulers, The Legal Matters, Maura & the Bright Lights, Lisa Mychols, and Mr. Encrypto & the Cyphers. You gotta have it, so order it here.
Continuing a look back at my first exposure to a number of rock ‘n’ roll acts and superheroes (or other denizens of print or periodical publication), some of which were passing fancies, and some of which I went on to kinda like. They say you never forget your first time; that may be true, but it’s the subsequent visits–the second time, the fourth time, the twentieth time, the hundredth time–that define our relationships with the things we cherish. Ultimately, the first meeting is less important than what comes after that. But every love story still needs to begin with that first kiss.
This was originally posted as part of a longer piece covering both pop music and comic book characters. It’s separated here for convenience.
As I’ve said before, it took me a little while to become a Beach Boys fan. But there was a Beach Boys LP in the family library when I was a kid: Surfer Girl. As hard as it may be to believe, the title track from that album is the only Beach Boys song I remember contemporaneously. I know, I know–I was there (in my role as me), and I have difficulty buying the idea that I wasn’t aware of “In My Room” or “Surfin’ USA” or “Help Me, Rhonda” or “I Get Around” or “Our Car Club.” Well, okay, maybe that last mental omission is understandable. But how could I have missed the entirety of The Beach Boys’ ’60s output in the ’60s? Beats me. All I can tell you is that I didn’t start listening to The Beach Boys at all until the mid-’70s, and I didn’t become a big fan until much later.
But I got there. As a teen, I borrowed my cousin Maryann’s Beach Boys records (along with her Dave Clark Five, Searchers, Beatles, Animals, and Rolling Stones collection). I got a copy of the cultural prerequisite 2-LP set Endless Summer via the RCA Record Club, and I figured I was permanently set with all the Beach Boys I’d ever need. Probably more than I’d ever need–the only track missing (in my view at the time) was “Good Vibrations,” and I could live without that if I had to.
(I think I may have been surprised to learn that “In My Room,” a track included on Endless Summer, had originally been done by The Beach Boys. I knew it as an early ’70s single by local singer Nanci Hammond, whose cover of the song received significant AM radio airplay in Syracuse. It was the follow-up to her earlier local hit, “You Were Made Just For Me,” and I confess that I preferred “You Were Made Just For Me” to “In My Room.” At the time, man, at the time!)
In high school, I knew a guy named Larry Siedentop. Larry was a big fan of The Beach Boys, probably the only one of my peers who was really, really into them (though I do recall that another friend, Mary Saur, also liked The Beach Boys, but not as fervently as ol’ Larry did). Larry spoke of The Beatles and The Beach Boys with equal reverence, and to me, that was just crazy, freakin’ nuts. Those square, decidedly outta-fashion California beach bums on a par with the brilliance of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band? That was like telling me that Up With People! was a peer to Bob Dylan. Sure, even my self-conscious efforts to make myself into a cooler-than-thou proto-hipster couldn’t deny the pop savvy of The Beach Boys’ best hit singles, but c’mon!
But now, even a slow-to-the-epiphany guy like me can look back and recognize how right Larry Siedentop was. Forty years later, I prefer Pet Sounds to Sgt. Pepper; that’s a turnaround in opinion that would have been inconceivable to me in 1976. I finally appreciate the greatness of The Beach Boys. Hell, I’m even okay with “Kokomo,” which makes me uncool, but I don’t care. And I got to see Brian Wilson play Pet Sounds in 2016! So much for first impressions, I guess, or even some subsequent impressions, too. Sometimes it takes me a while to catch on, and it certainly took me a while to catch a wave.
And I like “Surfer Girl” now. I love “Surfer Girl” now. I mean–look at her!
You can support this blog by becoming a patron on Patreon: Fund me, baby!
Our new compilation CD This Is Rock ‘n’ Roll Radio, Volume 4 is now available from Kool Kat Musik! 29 tracks of irresistible rockin’ pop, starring Pop Co-Op, Ray Paul, Circe Link & Christian Nesmith, Vegas With Randolph Featuring Lannie Flowers, The Slapbacks, P. Hux, Irene Peña, Michael Oliver & the Sacred Band Featuring Dave Merritt, The Rubinoos, Stepford Knives, The Grip Weeds, Popdudes, Ronnie Dark, The Flashcubes,Chris von Sneidern, The Bottle Kids, 1.4.5., The Smithereens, Paul Collins’ Beat, The Hit Squad, The Rulers, The Legal Matters, Maura & the Bright Lights, Lisa Mychols, and Mr. Encrypto & the Cyphers. You gotta have it, so order it here.
The Cosmic Genius Of Big Boy Pete, 1966-1979, Volume 2 (Mono-Tone)
Big Boy Pete (nee Peter Miller) boasts quite an impressive pedigree. As lead guitarist of Peter Jay and the Jaywalkers, the Norwich, England native enjoyed a run of success during the initial phase of the British Invasion.
Upon exiting the band in 1965, Peter became Big Boy Pete and received a bit of airplay in the UK with Baby I’ve Got News For You and Cold Turkey. John Lennon reportedly praised the latter single, so it’s probably no coincidence he called a song of his own Cold Turkey two years after Big Boy Pete’s forty-five arrived. On a related note, Big Boy Pete heard through the grapevine The Beatles were interested in signing him to their Apple label, which sadly never occurred.
Those assuming Baby I’ve Got News For You and Cold Turkey were the only items Big Boy Pete ever recorded, were pleasantly surprised a couple of decades down the pike when discovering he had tons of material languishing in the bin. A good amount of these tapes were reissued as album-length packages, rendering the now-San Francisco resident into a cult figure.
Big Boy Pete proceeds to plumb the archives, and has recently released The Cosmic Genius Of Big Boy Pete 1966-1979 Volume 2. Like its predecessor – The Cosmic Genius Of Big Boy Pete 1965-1977 Volume 1 – the collection is available on vinyl and is bolstered by printed lyrics and a goofy profile of Big Boy Pete authored by the man himself.
Riddled with the buzz of a tottering sitar, Strontium Ninety Nel sets the album in mettle motion to a punchy kaleidoscopic pulse, while the twinkling glimmer of Peter Pan and the orchestral beauty of Summerland detail the more delicate aspects of psychedelia. Also filed in this category is Convercircles, which sweeps and sways with taffy-stretching melodies and abstract imagery. Conducted by a taunting sneer based somewhere in the orbit of Bob Dylan and Sky Saxon, Nothingness Minus The Fun throbs insistently with rubbery riffs producing a bizarre breed of country folk rock.
Classic rockabilly is the chosen style on the wickedly catchy Bad Girl, and then there’s The King Of Berentania, that crosses reggae aspirations with new wave perspectives, before transforming into a sea shanty. An inspired Johnny Cash imitation is unveiled on the gruff and gravelly Burnt Out, menacing surf and spy rhythms crop up on the hard-edged jolt of Freeloader and Flying Solo soars forth to a powered pitch centered around a keen arrangement, biting fuzz guitars and commanding hooks.
Although Big Boy Pete keeps busy resurrecting material from yore, by no means does he live in the past. Apart from operating The Audio Institute of America in San Francisco, he continues to write and record original music. Those with an ear for a true blue rock and roll attitude that not only yields cool sounds, but adds wit, humor and surrealism to the show, will wear the grooves out of The Cosmic Genius Of Big Boy Pete 1966-1979,Volume 2, and then tune into his many other treasures, if they are not already acquainted with his work.
One of the many datamining exercises on Facebook poses the challenge of dating yourself without naming a year, but just by naming a (presumably old) performer you saw in concert. Now, this sort of datamining won’t work on me anyway. When one of my security questions asks me to name my first concert, I routinely answer [name redacted], a teen girl who threw herself against teen me because my Jerry Lewis impression apparently made me irresistible.
For dramatic purposes, the role of [name redacted] is played by Stella Stevens
Of these, only the Runaways tie me specifically to the ’70s, as all of the others remained active into the Reagan Administration and beyond.
I also saw Herman’s Hermits at a bar in 1978, minus Herm himself Peter Noone, but still the Hermits (and a mighty fine show). I saw the Animals, with all five original members, in the early ’80s. I saw the Everly Brothers, Bo Diddley, Gene Pitney, Ray Charles, the Searchers, and more on the oldies circuit in the ’80s and ’90s. I had missed opportunities to see James Brown, Dizzy Gillespie, Del Shannon, and Rick Nelson. Listing any of those acts in response to our original question might suggest I was attending rock ‘n’ roll shows in the ’60s, when I was a mere lad and a beardless youth. Fakeout!
On this blog, my Virtual Ticket Stub Gallery includes a 1976 Beatles concert, but that’s not technically, y’know, real. I have seen A Beatle, attended a press conference for another Beatle, and I also saw the Pete Best Band, but no, unlike my friend Pete Kennedy and my brother-in-law Tony Dees, no actual Fab Four on my concert resumé. Though I guess I could make the claim anyway. I’ve seen all four Monkees, too, but in increments of three Monkees at a time.
So the premise is indeed fatally flawed. My daughter saw Cheap Trick. And she was not around in the ’70s or ’80s. I’d remember if she were. Mommy’s all right, Daddy’s all right, we just seem a litle weird. And old. But still rockin’ and rollin’.
An infinite number of tracks can each be THE greatest record ever made, as long as they take turns. I like that idea so much, I’ve been writing a book about it: The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1). The long-threatened book remains a work in progress, but what the hell. Work is progressing.
My first public announcement of my plan to do this book was waaaay back in September of 2018. The GREM! concept well predates that announcement, springing from a series of blog posts that commenced in 2016 with a celebration of Badfinger‘s “Baby Blue.” The first proposed Table of Contents was posted in April of 2019, back when I was only planning for the book to discuss a mere 50 songs.
50…?! How quaint. It’s grown a bit since then. As of the last posted update in November of 2021, the book’s Table of Contents was a collection of 165 songs. It now stands at 175–170 selections plus five bonus tracks–and that’s probably where the number will stay.
The book’s current Table of Contents appears below. But before you dive in to experience its splendor, it’s worth repeating this caveat from one of the book’s introductory chapters:
“This specific disclaimer is worth highlighting in bold and all-caps: THIS IS NOT INTENDED AS AN EXHAUSTIVE LIST OF THE BEST RECORDS EVER MADE! Jesus, no! The chapters in this book cover a number of popular and personal favorites, but it’s nowhere near comprehensive, and it’s not meant to be. It’s a discussion and a celebration of pop’s infinite promise–nothing more, nothing less.”
Ready? Let’s GO!
THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (VOLUME 1)
Table of Contents
FOREWORD
DISCLAIMERS AND DECLARATIONS (A User’s Guide To The Greatest Record Ever Made!)
A Fistful Of 45s
OVERTURE THE RAMONES: Do You Remember Rock ‘n’ Roll Radio?
1. BADFINGER: Baby Blue
2. CHUCK BERRY: Promised Land
3. DUSTY SPRINGFIELD: I Only Want To Be With You
4. THE SEX PISTOLS: God Save The Queen
5. ELVIS PRESLEY: Heartbreak Hotel
6. WILLIE MAE “BIG MAMA” THORNTON: Hound Dog
7. PATTI SMITH: Gloria
8. LITTLE RICHARD: The Girl Can’t Help It
9. NEIL DIAMOND: Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show
10. CRAZY ELEPHANT: Gimme Gimme Good Lovin’
11. WILSON PICKETT: In The Midnight Hour
12. THE HOLLIES: I Can’t Let Go
13. MELANIE WITH THE EDWIN HAWKINS SINGERS: Lay Down (Candles In The Rain)
14. THE ROMANTICS: What I Like About You
15. SAM COOKE: Chain Gang
16. PETULA CLARK: Downtown
17. ARTHUR ALEXANDER: Soldier Of Love
18. TRANSLATOR: Everywhere That I’m Not
19. LESLEY GORE: You Don’t Own Me
20. THE SHANGRI-LAS: Leader Of The Pack
21. THE SHIRELLES: Will You Love Me Tomorrow
22. THE RAMONES: Sheena Is A Punk Rocker
23. AMY RIGBY: Dancing With Joey Ramone
24. PINK FLOYD: Wish You Were Here
25. GLADYS KNIGHT AND THE PIPS: Midnight Train To Georgia
26.THE BOBBY FULLER FOUR: I Fought The Law
27. MERLE HAGGARD: Mama Tried
28. THE TEMPTATIONS: Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone
29. BUDDY HOLLY: Peggy Sue/Everyday
30. ROBERTA FLACK: Killing Me Softly With His Song
31. JOHNNY NASH: I Can See Clearly Now
32. ELTON JOHN: Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting
33. SUZI QUATRO: I May Be Too Young
34. ALICE COOPER: School’s Out
35. THE RARE BREED/THE OHIO EXPRESS: Beg, Borrow And Steal
36. ARTHUR CONLEY: Sweet Soul Music
37. OTIS REDDING: (Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay
38. ARETHA FRANKLIN: Respect
39. THE MONKEES: The Girl I Knew Somewhere
40. THE MONKEES: Porpoise Song (Theme From Head)
41. PRINCE: When You Were Mine
42. THE 13th FLOOR ELEVATORS: You’re Gonna Miss Me
43. THE ROLLING STONES: Get Off Of My Cloud
44. PAUL REVERE AND THE RAIDERS: Just Like Me
45. BOB DYLAN: Like A Rolling Stone
46. THE KINGSMEN: Louie, Louie
47. BARON DAEMON AND THE VAMPIRES: The Transylvania Twist
48. THE MARVELETTES: I’ll Keep Holding On
49. THE WHO: I Can’t Explain
50. TODD RUNDGREN: Couldn’t I Just Tell You
51. SHOES: Tomorrow Night
52. THE FLASHCUBES: No Promise
53. TELEVISION: Elevation
54. DONNA SUMMER: I Feel Love
55. SMOKEY ROBINSON AND THE MIRACLES: The Tears Of A Clown
56. JUDAS PRIEST: Heading Out To The Highway
57. THE DIXIE CUPS: Iko Iko
58. THE NEW YORK DOLLS: Personality Crisis
59. MILLIE SMALL: My Boy Lollipop
60. THE EASYBEATS: Friday On My Mind
61. IKE AND TINA TURNER: River Deep Mountain High
62. THE RONETTES: Be My Baby
63. RONNIE SPECTOR AND THE E STREET BAND: Say Goodbye To Hollywood
64. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: Girls In Their Summer Clothes
65. KISS: Shout It Out Loud
66. THE LEFT BANKE: Walk Away, Renee
67. THE BAY CITY ROLLERS: Rock And Roll Love Letter
68. THE KNICKERBOCKERS: Lies
69. THE WONDERS: That Thing You Do!
70. THE GO-GO’S: We Got The BeatINTERLUDE The Tottenham Sound Of…The Beatles?!
71. THE DAVE CLARK FIVE: Any Way You Want It
72. JAMES BROWN: Please, Please, Please
73. GRAND FUNK: We’re An American Band
74. THE VELVELETTES: He Was Really Sayin’ Somethin’
75. THE FIRST CLASS: Beach Baby
76. THE ISLEY BROTHERS: Summer Breeze
77. THE RUBINOOS: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend
78. THE PANDORAS: It’s About Time
79. THE MUFFS: Saying Goodbye
80. BIG STAR: September Gurls
81. PAUL COLLINS/THE BREAKAWAYS: Walking Out On Love
82. LINDA RONSTADT: You’re No Good
83. P. P. ARNOLD: The First Cut Is The Deepest
84. THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS: All For Swinging You Around
85. THE DAVE BRUBECK QUARTET: Take FiveENTR’ACTE THE BEATLES: Yesterday
86. THE BEATLES: Revolution
87. YOKO ONO: Kiss Kiss Kiss
88. THE MC5: Kick Out The Jams
89. THE CHAMBERS BROTHERS: Time Has Come Today
90. MARVIN GAYE: I Heard It Through The Grapevine
91. SAMMY AMBROSE: This Diamond Ring
92. THE MYNAH BIRDS: I Got You (In My Soul)
93. RICK JAMES: Super Freak
94. BIG BROTHER AND THE HOLDING COMPANY: Piece Of My Heart
95. THE FLAMIN’ GROOVIES: Shake Some Action
96. THE DANDY WARHOLS: We Used To Be Friends
97. THE CARPENTERS: Only Yesterday
98. MATERIAL ISSUE: Kim The Waitress
99. THE 5TH DIMENSION: Medley: Aquarius/Let The Sun Shine In (The Flesh Failures)
100. THE JACKSON FIVE: I’ll Be There
101. SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE: Everybody Is A Star
102. LOVE: 7 And 7 Is
103. THE BANGLES: Live
104. THE SEARCHERS: Hearts In Her Eyes
105. THE FLIRTATIONS: Nothing But A Heartache
106. THE SPINNERS: I’ll Be Around
107. TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS: American Girl
108. THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY: I Woke Up In Love This Morning
109. EDDIE COCHRAN: Somethin’ Else
110. DAVID RUFFIN: I Want You Back
111. LED ZEPPELIN: Communication Breakdown
112. FREDDIE AND THE DREAMERS: Do The Freddie
113. THE BANDWAGON: Breakin’ Down The Walls Of Heartache
122. HAROLD MELVIN AND THE BLUE NOTES: Don’t Leave Me This Way
123. GRANDMASTER AND MELLE MEL: White Lines (Don’t Don’t Do It)
124. THE VELVET UNDERGROUND: I’ll Be Your Mirror
125. DEL SHANNON: Runaway
126. THE EVERLY BROTHERS: Gone, Gone, Gone
127. THE COCKTAIL SLIPPERS: St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
128. SAM AND DAVE: Soul Man
129. T. REX: 20th Century Boy
130. HEART: Kick It Out
131. THE RUNAWAYS: Cherry Bomb
132. AMERICA: Sister Golden Hair
133. THE KINKS: Waterloo Sunset
134. THE KINKS: You Really Got Me
135. HOLLY GOLIGHTLY: Time Will Tell
136. THE SMITHEREENS: Behind The Wall Of Sleep
137. THE COWSILLS: She Said To Me
138. ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE ATTRACTIONS: (What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding?
139. THE FOUR TOPS: Reach Out I’ll Be ThereINTERLUDE Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll
140. THE BOB SEGER SYSTEM: 2 + 2 = ?
141. THE JIVE FIVE: What Time Is It?
142. LULU: To Sir, With Love [Museum Outings Montage]
143. FREDA PAYNE: Band Of Gold
144. THE CONTOURS: Do You Love Me
145. WHAM!: Freedom
146. THE COOKIES: Wounded
147. THE SUPREMES: You Keep Me Hangin’ On
148. THE BEACH BOYS: God Only Knows
149. JOAN ARMATRADING: Me Myself I
150. THE SELECTER: On My Radio
151. TRACEY ULLMAN: They Don’t Know
152. MANNIX: Highway Lines
153. THE DRIFTERS: On Broadway
154. FIRST AID KIT: America
155. THE FIVE STAIRSTEPS: O-o-h Child
156. SOLOMON BURKE: Everybody Needs Somebody To Love
157. THE JAM: That’s Entertainment
158. THE COASTERS: Yakety Yak
159. CHEAP TRICK: Surrender
160. TEGAN AND SARA: Walking With A Ghost
161. DAVID BOWIE: Life On Mars?
162. THE O’JAYS: Put Your Hands Together
163. THE GRATEFUL DEAD: Uncle John’s Band
164. RITA MORENO, GEORGE CHAKIRIS, SHARKS & GIRLS: America
165. EDDIE AND THE HOT RODS: Do Anything You Wanna Do
166. JOAN JETT: Bad Reputation
167. STEVIE WONDER: I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)
168. MARYKATE O’NEIL: I’m Ready For My Luck To Turn Around
169. EYTAN MIRSKY: This Year’s Gonna Be Our Year
170. THE JAYHAWKS: I’m Gonna Make You Love Me
An Infinite Number
INTERLUDE Underrating The Beatles
ENCORE! THE BEATLES: Rain
ENCORE!! THE T-BONES: No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach’s In)
Cruisin’ Music
CODA THE RAMONES: Blitzkrieg Bop
AFTERWORD
Repeating the disclaimer: These selections are not ranked in any way, and this is most definitely NOT intended as an inclusive list of the all-time best songs. There are an infinite number of worthy prospects; these are the one I choose to write about in The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Voume 1).
At this writing, the book is only two chapters shy of a complete first draft. The completed chapters total just under 153,000 words, though that tally may shrink once I start revising the text. It is certainly possible that I will make further changes to the Table of Contents, but this is getting closer and closer to the final line-up.
I hope to complete those two remaining chapters in short order. Then, I’ll finally get to the revision process, tightening the prose and reducing redundancies. Somewhere in there, I’ve gotta start looking for an agent.
I have a different book due out by the end of 2022, but the principal work for that one is already done. Which means it’s finally time for The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1). Wish me luck.
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The Weeklings always make it a point to release a themed-song during the season to be jolly, so here they are with yet another smashing sonic stocking-stuffer to add to your playlist.
Couched in a rockabilly setting, Christmas Day not only rattles and rolls to a super catchy sound, but contains clever and humorous lyrics. Who would ever think of rhyming eve of destruction with mass corruption and tax deduction? Or how about catalog and eggnog?
Amid the Carl Perkins meets George Harrison inspired riffage, the vocals resemble a tuneful Bob Dylan, where airy harmonies sparkle with Beatlesque bliss. Jingling sleigh bells click in as a fitting end to the hooky song.
Although The Weeklings have deservedly earned the title “America’s most unique Beatles influenced band,” the New Jersey-based group is far more than a copy act. Give a listen to their well-stocked library of singles, EPs and albums, and you will be utterly delighted upon hearing their own inventively-composed pop rock offerings.
With current work completed on my forthcoming [REDACTED] book, I’ve started turning my attention back to my long-threatened other book, The Greatest Record Ever Made! (Volume 1). My first order of business really ought to be finding a new agent; I haven’t even started looking for new representation since parting company (reluctantly but amicably) with my previous agent. But working on the book itself is something I can do in the here and now.
In the past two and a half weeks, I’ve completed GREM! chapters about Tracey Ullman, Bob Dylan, Otis Redding, Arthur Conley, the Dixie Cups, Ike and Tina Turner, Eddie and the Hot Rods, Marykate O’Neil, and the Beatles‘ “Revolution,” restored previously-completed Love and Yoko Ono chapters, worked a little bit more on a still-unfinished chapter about the O’Jays, and tweaked the Linda Ronstadt chapter from a completed piece about the Stone Poneys‘ “Different Drum” into a completed piece about Ronstadt’s “You’re No Good” instead.
As of my last public GREM! update in September, the Dixie Cups, Yoko Ono, Love, and Arthur Conley chapters were not part of the book’s Table of Contents; they are now. I’ve removed previously-planned chapters about the Police, the Shocking Blue, Television, and Peter, Paul and Mary. I almost restored my chapter about the Romantics, but it’s not in the book’s current blueprint. Completed chapters about the Buzzcocks, the Raspberries, the Dandy Warhols, the Castaways, Deep Purple, the Only Ones, Nick Lowe, Wanda Jackson, and Al Hirt that were already out of the book’s TOC remain out of the book now, though any one (or more) of ’em could still be taken off the bench and placed into the line-up. Everything’s in play until the book’s done.
Yeah, maybe even still in play after I think the book’s done. I tweak therefore I am. Here’s what my working Table of Contents looks like today:
THE GREATEST RECORD EVER MADE! (VOLUME 1)
Table of Contents
FOREWORD
DISCLAIMERS AND DECLARATIONS (A User’s Guide To The Greatest Record Ever Made!)A Fistful Of 45s
OVERTURE THE RAMONES: Do You Remember Rock ‘n’ Roll Radio?
1. BADFINGER: Baby Blue
2. CHUCK BERRY: Promised Land
3. DUSTY SPRINGFIELD: I Only Want To Be With You
4. THE SEX PISTOLS: God Save The Queen
5. ELVIS PRESLEY: Heartbreak Hotel
6. WILLIE MAE “BIG MAMA” THORNTON: Hound Dog
7. PATTI SMITH: Gloria
8. LITTLE RICHARD: The Girl Can’t Help It
9. NEIL DIAMOND: Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show
10. CRAZY ELEPHANT: Gimme Gimme Good Lovin’
11. WILSON PICKETT: In The Midnight Hour
12. THE HOLLIES: I Can’t Let Go
13. MELANIE WITH THE EDWIN HAWKINS SINGERS: Lay Down (Candles In The Rain)
14. SAM COOKE: Chain Gang
15. PETULA CLARK: Downtown
16. ARTHUR ALEXANDER: Soldier Of Love
17. TRANSLATOR: Everywhere That I’m Not
18. LESLEY GORE: You Don’t Own Me
19. THE SHANGRI-LAS: Leader Of The Pack
20. THE SHIRELLES: Will You Love Me Tomorrow
21. THE RAMONES: Sheena Is A Punk Rocker
22. AMY RIGBY: Dancing With Joey Ramone
23. PINK FLOYD: Wish You Were Here
24. GLADYS KNIGHT AND THE PIPS: Midnight Train To Georgia
25.THE BOBBY FULLER FOUR: I Fought The Law
26. MERLE HAGGARD: Mama Tried
27. THE TEMPTATIONS: Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone
28. BUDDY HOLLY: Peggy Sue/Everyday
29. JOHNNY NASH: I Can See Clearly Now
30. ELTON JOHN: Saturday Night’s Alright For Fightin’
31. SUZI QUATRO: I May Be Too Young
32. ALICE COOPER: School’s Out
33. THE RARE BREED/THE OHIO EXPRESS: Beg, Borrow And Steal
34. THE DIXIE CUPS: Iko Iko
35. ARTHUR CONLEY: Sweet Soul Music
36. OTIS REDDING: (Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay
37. ARETHA FRANKLIN: Respect
INTERLUDE The Monkees Play Their Own Instruments
38. THE MONKEES: Porpoise Song (Theme From Head)
39. PRINCE: When You Were Mine
40. THE 13th FLOOR ELEVATORS: You’re Gonna Miss Me
41. THE ROLLING STONES: Get Off Of My Cloud
42. PAUL REVERE AND THE RAIDERS: Just Like Me
43. BOB DYLAN: Like A Rolling Stone
44. THE KINGSMEN: Louie, Louie
45. BARON DAEMON AND THE VAMPIRES: The Transylvania Twist
46. NELSON RIDDLE: The Batman Theme
47. THE MARVELETTES: I’ll Keep Holding On
48. THE CREATION: Making Time
49. THE WHO: I Can’t Explain
50. TODD RUNDGREN: Couldn’t I Just Tell You
51. SHOES: Tomorrow Night
52. THE FLASHCUBES: No Promise
53. DONNA SUMMER: I Feel Love
54. SMOKEY ROBINSON AND THE MIRACLES: The Tears Of A Clown
55. LOVE: 7 And 7 Is
56. JUDAS PRIEST: Heading Out To The Highway
57. ABBA: Dancing Queen
58. THE NEW YORK DOLLS: Personality Crisis
59. MILLIE SMALL: My Boy Lollipop
60. THE EASYBEATS: Friday On My Mind
61. IKE AND TINA TURNER: River Deep Mountain High
62. THE RONETTES: Be My Baby
63. RONNIE SPECTOR AND THE E STREET BAND: Say Goodbye To Hollywood
64. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: Girls In Their Summer Clothes
65. KISS: Shout It Out Loud
66. THE LEFT BANKE: Walk Away, Renee
67. THE BAY CITY ROLLERS: Rock And Roll Love Letter
68. THE KNICKERBOCKERS: Lies
69. THE WONDERS: That Thing You Do!
70. THE GO-GO’S: We Got The Beat
71. THE LOVIN’ SPOONFUL: Summer In The City
72. VAN HALEN: Dance The Night Away
73. PEGGY LEE: FeverINTERLUDE The Tottenham Sound Of…The Beatles?!
74. THE DAVE CLARK FIVE: Any Way You Want It
75. JAMES BROWN: Please, Please, Please
76. GRAND FUNK: We’re An American Band
77. THE VELVELETTES: He Was Really Sayin’ Somethin’
78. WAR: Low Rider
79. THE FIRST CLASS: Beach Baby
80. THE ISLEY BROTHERS: Summer Breeze
81. THE RUBINOOS: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend
82. THE PANDORAS: It’s About Time
83. P. P. ARNOLD: The First Cut Is The Deepest
84. BIG STAR: September Gurls
85. SAMMY AMBROSE: This Diamond Ring
86. PAUL COLLINS: Walking Out On Love
87. LINDA RONSTADT: You’re No Good
88. THE DAVE BRUBECK QUARTET: Take Five
ENTR’ACTE THE BEATLES: Yesterday
89. THE BEATLES: Revolution
90. THE MC5: Kick Out The Jams
91. THE CHAMBERS BROTHERS: Time Has Come Today
92. MARVIN GAYE: I Heard It Through The Grapevine
93. RAY CHARLES: Hit The Road Jack
94. THE MUFFS: Saying Goodbye
95. YOKO ONO: Kiss Kiss Kiss
96. THE FLAMIN’ GROOVIES: Shake Some Action
97. THE CARPENTERS: Only Yesterday
98. MATERIAL ISSUE: Kim The Waitress
99. THE 5TH DIMENSION: Aquarius/Let The Sun Shine In (The Flesh Failures)
100. THE JACKSON FIVE: I’ll Be There
101. SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE: Everybody Is A Star
102. JUDY COLLINS: Both Sides Now
103. EMITT RHODES: Fresh As A Daisy
104. THE BANGLES: Live
105. THE SEARCHERS: Hearts In Her Eyes
106. THE HUMAN SWITCHBOARD: (Say No To) Saturday’s Girl
107. THE BYRDS: I’ll Feel A Whole Lot Better
INTERLUDE Rick James! Neil Young! Motown Sensations THE MYNAH BIRDS!
108. RICK JAMES: Super Freak
109. THE FLIRTATIONS: Nothing But A Heartache
110. THE SPINNERS: I’ll Be Around
111. TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS: American Girl
112. THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY: I Woke Up In Love This Morning
113. LED ZEPPELIN: Communication Breakdown
114. EDDIE COCHRAN: Somethin’ Else
115. THE BANDWAGON: Breakin’ Down The Walls Of Heartache
116. DON HENLEY: The Boys Of Summer
117. THE CLASH: Train In Vain (Stand By Me)
118. BEN E. KING: Stand By Me
119. GENE PITNEY: Twenty Four Hours From Tulsa
120. RUFUS: Tell Me Something Good
121. THE SPONGETONES: (My Girl) Maryanne
122. THE TRAMMPS: Disco Inferno
123. HAROLD MELVIN AND THE BLUE NOTES: Don’t Leave Me This Way
124. GRANDMASTER AND MELLE MEL: White Lines (Don’t Don’t Do It)
125. THE VELVET UNDERGROUND: I’ll Be Your Mirror
126. DEL SHANNON: Runaway
127. THE EVERLY BROTHERS: Gone, Gone, Gone
128. THE COCKTAIL SLIPPERS: St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
129. FREDDIE AND THE DREAMERS: Do The Freddie
130. SAM AND DAVE: Soul Man
131. BIG BROTHER AND THE HOLDING COMPANY: Piece Of My Heart
132. THE MAYTALS: Pressure Drop
133. T. REX: 20th Century Boy
134. HEART: Kick It Out
135. THE RUNAWAYS: Cherry Bomb
136. AMERICA: Sister Golden Hair
137. THE KINKS: Waterloo Sunset
138. THE KINKS: You Really Got Me
139. HOLLY GOLIGHTLY: Time Will Tell
140. THE SMITHEREENS: Behind The Wall Of Sleep
141. THE COWSILLS: She Said To Me
142. ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE ATTRACTIONS: (What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding?
143. THE FOUR TOPS: Reach Out I’ll Be There
INTERLUDE Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll
144. THE BOB SEGER SYSTEM: 2 + 2 = ?
145. THE JIVE FIVE: What Time Is It?
146. LULU: To Sir, With Love [Museum Outings Montage]
147. FREDA PAYNE: Band Of Gold
148. EARTH, WIND AND FIRE WITH THE EMOTIONS: Boogie Wonderland
149. THE CONTOURS: Do You Love Me
150. BLONDIE: (I’m Always Touched By Your) Presence, Dear
151. THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS: All For Swinging You Around
152. WHAM!: Freedom
153. THE SUPREMES: You Keep Me Hangin’ On
154. THE BEACH BOYS: God Only Knows
155. JOAN ARMATRADING: Me Myself I
156. THE SELECTER: On My Radio
157. TRACEY ULLMAN: They Don’t Know
158. MANNIX: Highway Line
159. THE DRIFTERS: On Broadway
160. FIRST AID KIT: America
161. THE FIVE STAIRSTEPS: O-o-h Child
162. SOLOMON BURKE: Everybody Needs Somebody To Love
163. THE JAM: That’s Entertainment
164. THE COASTERS: Yakety Yak
165. CHEAP TRICK: Surrender
166. DAVID BOWIE: Life On Mars?
167. THE O’JAYS: Put Your Hands Together
168. THE GRATEFUL DEAD: Uncle John’s Band
169. EDDIE AND THE HOT RODS: Do Anything You Wanna Do
170. THE PRETENDERS: Back On The Chain Gang
171. JOAN JETT: Bad Reputation
172. STEVIE WONDER: I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)
173. MARYKATE O’NEIL: I’m Ready For My Luck To Turn Around
174. EYTAN MIRSKY: This Year’s Gonna Be Our Year
175. THE JAYHAWKS: I’m Gonna Make You Love Me
An Infinite Number
INTERLUDE
Underrating The Beatles
ENCORE!
THE BEATLES: Rain
ENCORE!!
THE T-BONES: No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach’s In)Cruisin’ Music
CODA
THE RAMONES: Blitzkrieg Bop
AFTERWORD
An infinite number of songs can each be THE greatest record ever made, as long as they take turns. I’m feeling an increasing temptation to include a chapter about the Animals; we’ll see.
At this writing, the chapters still in need of a completed first draft are ABBA, Millie Small, Peggy Lee, the Velvelettes, War, the Pandoras, P. P. Arnold, the Chambers Brothers, Ray Charles, the Muffs, the 5th Dimension, Judy Collins, the Bangles, Don Henley, Big Brother and the Holding Company, the Maytals, the Cowsills, Earth, Wind and Fire with the Emotions, Blondie, the New Pornographers, the Supremes, Cheap Trick, the O’Jays, and the Pretenders.
The rest of it? Done, at least in draft form. Now, I need to finish the rest, and secure some representation for it, not necessarily in that order. It’s time to head back into the infinite.
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At an age when most people are preparing to retire, Mike Browning launched a new career – as a recording star! The North Carolina based singer, songwriter and multi-varied instrumentalist’s debut effort – a six track EP aptly called Never Too Late – was released in 2020, ensued by a single, Another Bite At The Apple. Both of these endeavors received rave receptions, which duly celebrated Mike’s indelible talent for composing, arranging and playing hook happy pop rock to the hilt.
However, Mike’s current collection – Class Act – was not intended to be an album. The project was initially conceived back in 2018, when Mike was enrolled in a recording and production program taught by Jamie Hoover of the famed Spongetones. Students were assigned to pick tunes of their choice to record, and the numbers on Class Act are those Mike selected.
Exclusively covers, the material basically sticks to the same structure and tempo of the original recordings. But Mike’s bubbly harmony-laden vocals, attended by his earnest passion for the music, stamps a fresh feel onto the songs.
Considering The Beach Boys are one of Mike’s key inspirations, it is only appropriate that Class Act opens the session with the sunshine-soaked doo-wop of Do It Again. In fact, the album focuses heavily on the sounds of the sixties.
The Beatles are saluted on Norwegian Wood, while Picture Book by The Kinks, and the Spencer Davis Group’s keyboard-driven Gimme Some Lovin’ are also revisited in fine form.
As well, the garage rocking (I’m Not Your) Steppin’ Stone – which was popularized by The Monkees and Paul Revere and the Raiders – and Just Like Romeo And Juliet from The Reflections, appear on the album.
Then there’s a couple of Bob Dylan essays, which are delivered in the manner mainly recognized by the versions by The Byrds. Among these songs are the countrified You Ain’t Going Nowhere and the ringing folk rock of My Back Pages. Further folk rock pieces include the quirky nursery rhyme prose of The Little Black Egg (The Nightcrawlers) and the bright and beautiful I’ll Never Find Another You, that The Seekers scored a hit with in 1965.
XTC fans will rejoice when hearing Mike’s spot on treatment of the paisley-appareled Dear Madame Barnum, along with Tommy Tutone’s867-5309/Jenny, which bounces to a cool new wave vibe.
It is a good thing Mike decided to make these cuts available. Lively and sparkling with enthusiasm, the album certainly deserves an A-plus. Class Act will tide us over until Mike’s next album of his own great songs rears its head.
My first rock ‘n’ roll posters were hand-me-downs, but they were choice hand-me-downs. When my sister went off to college in 1970, I assumed possession of her Beatles posters. These painted portraits of your John, your Paul, your George, and your Ringo remained on my wall while I was in middle school and high school, and left North Syracuse with me when I commenced my own rock ‘n’ roll matriculatin’ in the fall of ’77. The posters served me well on one occasion in ’76 or so, when WOLF-AM‘s Beatles Weekend offered a free Beatles LP to the first caller who could correctly identify the color of George Harrison’s eyes. A glance at the poster, a sprint to the phone in the kitchen, a hastily-dialed call to The Big 15 so I could blurt out BROWN!, and a copy of the Help! album was mine.
I also remember my sister having a Dylan poster–my first conscious exposure to Bashful Bobby Dylan’s name–but I think she must have taken that one with her on her journey to higher education. ‘Sfunny, because I remember much later mentioning Mr. Dylan to one of the guys in my dorm suite in the Spring of ’78; my suitemate glanced up at my Beatles portraits, and asked me which one was Dylan.
Although I plastered my walls with graven images in high school and college, I had relatively few commercial posters. In college, my cherished Beatles posters shared wall space with LP inserts (from the White Album, from The Beach Boys‘ Endless Summer, from a collection of movie sound bites by The Marx Brothers, and from records by The Heartbreakers, The Runaways, etc.), promo materials, maybe some comics art, Flashcubes gig flyers, magazine pages (including a poster ripped from a Bay City Rollers fan mag), a Molson Golden Ale poster, and a few Playboy centerfolds. The promo items–posters and flats–mostly came from Brockport’s Main Street Records, which offered such bonus bounty in its handy-dandy Free With Purchase! bin. Decorating was easy!
And I did pick up a few commercial posters along the way. I believe I got my KISS poster from my college friend Fred, who had outgrown KISS and wanted nothing further to do with the group. I bought a couple of posters upstairs at Syracuse’s Economy Bookstore, one featuring my boys The Sex Pistols and one starring my presumed future spouse Suzi Quatro. There was an awesome Batman poster I wanted, but never quite got around to buying. I did get a Suzanne Somers poster at Gerber Music; that was sorta puzzling, because although she was certainly cute, I didn’t have any particular thing for her, nor for her sitcom Three’s Company. Why a Suzanne poster, instead of, say, a Farrah Fawcett? No idea.
After college, I don’t recall ever putting up many posters in my apartments. I really wanted to get a poster of The Monkees circa the time of resurgent Monkeemania in ’86, but never saw one I thought appropriate. Now, decades later, I have but a few posters on my wall. There’s a Frank Miller The Dark Knight Returns poster framed in my office, staring down a great framed Ramones poster I received as a gift. But that’s it, other than the framed two-page spread from my Goldmine interview with Joan Jett (autographed by Ms. Jett herself) and the framed artwork from Rhino Records‘ Poptopia! CDs, which Rhino gave me as a thank-you bonus for writing the liner notes to the ’90s Poptopia! disc, plus a few small items (a picture of Syracuse University basketball great Gerry McNamara, an autographed picture of Red Grammer, my Ramones wall clock, and a wall hanging my sister gave me decades ago, which reads A Creative Mind Is Rarely Tidy). That’s the sum total of wall decorations in my office at home.
I still have those same Beatles posters. They’re a bit tattered now, certainly worn, rolled up in a drawer because there’s no longer any point in even trying to flatten them or do a better job of preserving them. George Harrison’s eyes are still brown. The Pistols, KISS, and Suzanne Somers sheets are long gone; even Suzi Q has moved on. The Beatles remain. John. Paul. George. Ringo. Dylan must have been on holiday that day.
I still regret never buying this one for my dorm room wall.
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Virtual Ticket Stub Gallery is a series of extended reminiscences of my in-concert memories. This is the first (and probably only) fictional entry in this series. The events detailed herein take place in the same make-believe universe as a previous story I wrote about The Flashcubes, A Brighter Light In My Mind.
It was John Lennon‘s idea.
Of the four former members of The Beatles, Lennon often seemed the most publicly opposed to the idea of getting the old band back together. Although The Beatles broke up in 1970, it seemed that hardly a day could go by without someone–a fan, a pundit, a reporter, a fellow rock star, even a freaking head of state–asking when this fabbest of fours would regroup. Would you want to go back to high school?, Lennon would reply, apparently dismissive of the very idea of ever wanting to get back to where he once belonged. Paul McCartney would insist that one couldn’t reheat a souffle; George Harrison‘s disdain for the notion rivaled Lennon’s; one suspected that Ringo Starr would have been fine with a reunion if it were to occur, but he warned all and sundry that it would only happen if and when it happened, if it happened at all. So the chances of a Beatles reunion appeared to be somewhere far south of slim, barely north of none.
So everyone–including Paul, George, and Ringo–was flabbergasted in 1976 to hear John effectively saying, Hey, lads! Let’s put on a SHOW! But that’s pretty much what Lennon did.
John Lennon was 35 years old, and he’d packed a lot into those years. His father had been absent, his parents ultimately estranged, leaving John to be raised by his Aunt Mimi; Lennon remained devoted to his mother, and was devastated by her death in 1958, when Lennon was not yet 18 years old. Lennon was creative, artistic, musical, mercurial, temperamental, a joker, a troublemaker. He was in a rock ‘n’ roll group. The group was a failure that became a greater success than any other group in history. He got a girl named Cynthia pregnant. He married her, and they had a son named Julian. John was as absent a father as his own father had been before him. John fell, hard, for an exotic, artistic woman named Yoko. One marriage ended, another began, standing in the dock at Southampton. His band broke up. He became more politically aware, more engaged on behalf of social justice. His antiwar activities drew the ire of the established, entrenched power structure. He wasn’t paranoid; they really were out to get him. The U.S. Government tried to deport him, and was nearly successful in that effort. He fought back, waging war on the battlefield of public opinion. He and Yoko separated. He had a famed, debauched Lost Weekend, spanning eighteen months from 1973 to early ’75. He reunited with Yoko; the separation didn’t work out. Their son Sean was born on John’s 35th birthday, October 9th of 1975. This time, John would not be an absent father. This time, he would do things right.
Yeah. So how much did you do in your life before you turned 36?
John settled into a delighted domesticity. He took care of Sean, he baked bread, and he was just Daddy. The infant Sean was perhaps too young to be fully aware of his father’s devotion, but awareness and appreciation would come in time. Life, after all, is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.
In 1976, Paul McCartney occasionally dropped by Lennon’s apartment at The Dakota in Manhattan. John kind of wished Paul would call before showing up, but their friendship was old and resilient. Over the years, they had bickered and competed, as friends sometimes do; success and recognition magnify the cracks and faults that would appear anyway, so an argument can often become a lawsuit. Sue me, sue you their younger partner George had quipped. Tempers flared, cooler heads prevailed over time. They were friends. The complicated legal knot that had once been The Beatles would take a long, long time to untangle. The friendship would endure.
John and Paul had played together at an abortive studio jam session in Burbank in March of 1974, during John’s Lost Weekend, along with Stevie Wonder, Harry Nilsson, saxophonist Bobby Keys, and Paul’s wife, the lovely Linda McCartney. The hazy, drug-fueled session was emblematic of John’s excess at the time. In Paul’s visits to The Dakota, the musical collaborations were no more serious, but far more sedate.
On April 24th, 1976, Paul was with John at The Dakota. They’d had some drinks, played some songs, and were settled in front of the TV to watch a new episode of NBC’s Saturday Night, a late-night ensemble comedy sketch show enjoying great success in its first season. The show was hipper than hip. This should be a hoot.
But the former Beatles were wholly unprepared when the producer of Saturday Night began speaking directly to them, as they watched him on the TV screen.
SNL producer, Lorne Michaels
The public mania for a Beatles reunion had reached peak silliness by ’76. There had been million-dollar offers–multi-million!–just to somehow get John, Paul, George, and Ringo on stage together again before a live audience. The preposterous truckloads of money could be paid to The Beatles themselves, to their favorite charities, to agencies fighting world hunger, even to failed Apple Corps projects The Fool and Magic Alex, for all any of the would-be promoters cared. Just GET BACK, Beatles! LET IT BE! ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!! Money was not what The Beatles wanted. They wanted people to stop asking them to reBeatle. You want a new Beatles record? Take a few tracks each off Walls And Bridges, Venus And Mars, Extra Texture, and Goodnight Vienna, put ’em on a cassette, and PRESTO! Instant Beatles album! You wanna see The Beatles in concert? Take a time machine back to The Star-Club or The Cavern, before all the screaming drowned us out. That time is gone. The Beatles are no more.
Lorne Michaels, the producer of NBC’s Saturday Night, saw the humor in these desperate, clawing, failed attempts to reunite The Beatles. And, where there’s already inherent humor present, well, a comedy sketch just writes itself.
John and Paul stared at the TV screen, their jaws dropping like acid in 1967. Hi. I’m Lorne Michaels, the producer of Saturday Night. Right now, we’re being seen by approximately 22 million viewers, but please allow me, if I may, to address myself to just four very special people: John, Paul, George, and Ringo, The Beatles. Sitting there in The Dakota, their smiles growing wider, Lennon and McCartney watched with glee as Michaels detailed his mock offer to entice The Beatles to appear on Saturday Night. Michaels said he’d heard that maybe the group simply hadn’t yet been offered enough money to give any serious consideration to a reunion. Well, Michaels assured everyone, money wouldn’t be a problem for NBC. And to prove it, Michaels displayed a check from NBC, made out to The Beatles, in the princely amount of three thousand dollars.
McCartney spit out his beer, laughing. Lennon guffawed loudly, amused and engaged. But then he stopped laughing. And he turned to his old partner Paul and said:
We should do it! At first, Paul thought John was daft. But he also saw the appeal of this crazy idea. Alas, it was a crazy, impractical idea. John said they should head right to the NBC studio, just the two of them, and accept half of the $3000 offer as a joke. But it was late. They were tired. And the moment passed.
A few days later, John was still capering to himself a bit, thinking of that moment. And he started to wonder: had the moment really passed?
Had it?
Lennon considered. He was determined to be an ever-present part of his new son’s life. He’d put music on hold, and would keep it on hold until he felt Sean was old enough to understand. But Sean was still just a baby, six months old–perhaps this was the right time for John to play one more show before devoting himself exclusively to full-time daddyhood.
John thought back to his last live performance: Madison Square Garden, November 28th, 1974. He’d lost a bet with Elton John, and had to join Elton and his boys in concert. He only did three songs: his own “Whatever Gets You Thru The Night,” The Beatles’ “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” (itself a recent hit for Elton), and “I Saw Her Standing There,” a song John introduced on stage as “a number by an old estranged fiance of mine called Paul.” So Lennon’s last concert performance to date had been singing a Paul McCartney song. Heh, Lennon chuckled aloud, That will never do! He’d been terrified to appear on stage with Elton that night; he’d been away from the spotlight too long, he thought. But it was fun. Exhilarating. Maybe he should consider doing one whole show.
Oh, the hell with it–maybe he should consider doing the one show everyone had been after him to do.
John went to the phone. One by one, he dialed each of his three mates. Paul? George? Ringo? I have an idea….
All three of the others were immediately skeptical, though both Paul and Ringo accepted the idea in short order. George was more resistant. Even when The Beatles were still together, he’d felt like a junior member rather than an equal. And he’d chafed under that feeling of confinement, restriction. He had not missed being a Beatle. He saw no compelling reason to become a Beatle again.
One thinks that should have been the end of this absurd idea of a Beatles reunion. John Lennon certainly wasn’t going to beg George, and nor were the others any more apt to persuade or coax him back into the fold. Nice idea. Let’s forget about it now.
On the other hand, Bob Dylan was perfectly willing to intercede.
For years, no one knew for sure how Dylan even found out about this potential reunion. Decades later, we learned that Yoko Ono had contacted Linda McCartney with the idea, and Linda got in touch with Bashful Bobby Dylan. Yoko was concerned that canceling this reunion would have been a disappointment to John. Her motives were perhaps not 100% altruistic–John had promised to be a stay-at-home father to Sean, and a disappointed John could lead to a wandering John, yet again–but nor were they purely mercenary, either. She wanted John to be able to do this; she wanted John to be happy. On top of all that, Yoko felt that she owed a debt of gratitude to the McCartneys; Paul and Linda had played an understated but undeniable role in getting John and Yoko back together after John’s long Lost Weekend. Furthermore, Yoko knew that Paul also wanted to be a Beatle again, even if just for one night, at least as much as John did. John and Paul were brothers–sometimes bickering, sometime infuriating, but brothers. They needed this…closure.
The idea of enlisting Dylan was simply brilliant. Dylan loved the idea of a Beatles show, so he certainly didn’t mind calling his friend George. George respected Dylan’s opinion, shrugged, and went along with the idea of temporarily–temporarily!–becoming a Beatle again. A reluctant Beatle, sure, but a Beatle nonetheless!
Beatles have people. Lots of people. None of us has ever, or will ever, had any freaking idea of what it’s like to be a member of that exclusive club of four. And part of being a Beatle meant that if you wanted something done, then snap! It was done. Emissaries handled logistics. Snap! Madison Square Garden was booked–quietly–and I still have no idea how they pulled that one off. Snap! Backing musicians were secured; Al Kooper would play keyboards, and the live sound would be further fattened by the addition of The Memphis Horns. Snap! And John, Paul, George, and Ringo found themselves at a secure location on Long Island–far from the madding crowd, far from prying eyes and ears–preparing to make music together for the first time in nearly seven years.
For their first day in the ol’ woodshed, The Beatles wanted to start without sidemen, just the four of them, getting reacquainted, learning again how to play with and to each other. There was no agenda that day; just icebreakers, joking, and jamming. Old friends. Guitars. Bass. Piano. Drums. That first day was more party than woodshed, as the once-and-future mates played random favorites as the thought occurred to them, riffing through Arthur Alexander, Carl Perkins, The Everly Brothers, Chan Romero, Richie Barrett, Little Richard, Ray Charles, Buddy Holly, James Ray, Wanda Jackson, Elvis, The Miracles, The Impressions, “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door,” “Without You,” even “(Theme From) The Monkees.” They tried their hands at Beatle numbers, too, from “Love Me Do” to “For You Blue.” Paul earned loud snorts of laughter by singing a bit of John’s “How Do You Sleep?,” while John countered with Paul’s “Let Me Roll It.” (John’s attempt at The Chiffons‘ “He’s So Fine” prompted George to roll his eyes, but John made up for it by duetting with George on a heavenly rendition of “My Sweet Lord.”) The proceedings were chaotic, disorganized, start-and-stop…and wonderful. Old friends.
Business resumed in earnest on the second day, as Kooper arrived; The Memphis Horns arrived on the following day. There would be just over a week of rehearsals before The Beatles’ still-secret gig at Madison Square Garden. They needed to figure some things out in a hurry.
Amazingly, there was actually quite a bit of agreement among The Beatles about what they didn’t want. They didn’t want to be a nostalgia act; they didn’t want to do any kind of chronological representation of The Beatles’ story–they were The Beatles, for cryinoutloud, not bloody Beatlemania. They didn’t want to do a smooth, slick Greatest Hits show. They didn’t want to take anyone back to some imaginary glory days of yesteryear. They wanted to play, in the here and now.
At the same time, they also knew they needed to play Beatle songs. It was a delicate balancing act. If you just give the audience what it wants, you’re a whore; if you don’t give ’em anything they want, you’re a prima donna. The four of them agreed they wouldn’t want to go see, say, Roy Orbison, and not hear “Only The Lonely.” Nor would they care to see (or perform) a show played by the numbers. Balance. They came up with a list of about fifty songs, and started going through them. “Yesterday” didn’t work. Early bubblegum material felt wrong. “Hey Bulldog” was awesome, but fell victim to inevitable cuts in the set list, elimination choices which also claimed “I’ve Just Seen A Face,” “Yer Blues,” “A Hard Day’s Night,” “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band,” “Savoy Truffle,” and an ace cover of Buddy Holly’s “Peggy Sue.” Rehearsals went on. The set list gelled. The band got tighter. All that time spent apart melted away.
They were The Beatles once again.
Word finally leaked out a week before the show, and an official announcement was made: The Beatles would reunite for one single concert. It would be a slight exaggeration to say that the show sold out instantly. It took nearly twenty minutes to sell out. Arrangements were made to also carry a live feed of the concert in movie theaters throughout the country, around the world. A splendid time was guaranteed for all!
On the day of the concert, John was nervous, apprehensive, nauseous. George alternated between wondering if he’d made a mistake agreeing to take part in this circus and…well, looking forward to it. He found his dichotomy of emotion unexpected, but oddly calming. Paul and Ringo took it all in stride. John pulled himself together. Toppermost of the poppermost. It was time.
The massive crowd at Madison Square Garden was giddy, boisterous, and frankly, high as a kite. The lights went out. Gasps. Cheers. Anticipation. Palpable, tangible thrill.
Ladies and gentlemen…THE BEATLES!! Still in darkness, John counted off, “1-2-3!” The lights came on, brilliant and blinding, dazzling, dizzying, louder and more popular than Jesus. The grinding guitar consumed the arena, as Paul let out a scream and John began to sing:
You say you want a revolution, well you know We all want to change the world The Beatles charged through the opening verse and chorus of “Revolution,” Paul and George adding back-up shoo-be-do-wops to the subsequent verses. “Revolution” led into a furious, manic “Helter Skelter,” and The Beatles’ guarantee of a splendid time for all was already achieved.
“While My Guitar Gently Weeps.” “You Won’t See Me.” “No Reply.” The Beatles played an eclectic, electric selection of songs from their catalog of wonder. A new George Harrison song called “Crackerbox Palace” followed, and then flowed into the distinctive riff of “Ticket To Ride.” “Strawberry Fields Forever.” Ringo’s “It Don’t Come Easy.” “Come Together.””Here Comes The Sun.” “Penny Lane.”
There was little between-song patter; there was just an easy-going, amiable on-stage ambiance, incongruously tethered to a lit fuse and an ongoing explosion of buzzing musical delight. John told the fans that they all needed to pay tribute to the rock ‘n’ roll that got them there in the first place, and launched into an impassioned cover of Chuck Berry‘s “Johnny B. Goode.” Those guitars like ringin’ a bell segued into John’s “Whatever Gets You Thru The Night,” then Paul’s “Maybe I’m Amazed,” then “I Am The Walrus.” “Magical Mystery Tour.” “With A Little Help From My Friends.” “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds.” George introduced “Something” as Frank Sinatra’s favorite Lennon and McCartney song. Thank you, Frank! John whooped out a Thanks, Frankie! in response. “Back In The USSR.” Ringo’s “Photograph.” “We Can Work It Out.” Day Tripper.” George’s “What Is Life.” “Let It Be.” “Don’t Pass Me By.”
It was a long show. These aging rock stars, all in their late thirties by now, should have been dragging, but still seemed energized, ignited, as if they were still that impossibly young bunch of punks tearin’ up the Reeperbahn in Hamburg those many years ago. The guitars gathered more volume, the air became thicker, as every inch of space at MSG gave way to the force and fury of “I Want You (She’s So Heavy).” Paul moved to the piano for a climactic “Hey Jude.” The show concluded with John and Paul singing “I Don’t Want To Spoil The Party,” The Nerk Twins, the British Everly Brothers. And The Beatles said good night.
During all their years of insane, unprecedented, hysterical popularity, The Beatles never performed an encore. No. They did their show, and they got out. So tonight would be history on top of history. The arena thundered with the eager noise of delirious fans wanting more!
Back on stage, soaking in the applause, beaming with pride and satisfaction (wait–wrong band!), The Beatles were ready to oblige.
Thank you, Beatle people. It says here we passed the audition! “Get Back.” “A Day In The Life.” “Eleanor Rigby.” And finally, Larry Williams‘ “Dizzy Miss Lizzy.” The clock struck eternity. The enchantment ended. This amazing, amazing night was over.
Record labels fell over each other trying to secure the rights to release a live album of The Beatles’ MSG show. Paul, George, and Ringo were each already under contract with competing labels, though John was a free agent. But it didn’t matter; the show was not officially recorded, and would forevermore be only the stuff of memories and bootlegs. Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on.
The Beatles would never again perform together before a live audience. The four discussed the comic merit of taking NBC’s Saturday Night up on its offer, but ultimately decided it wasn’t something they wanted to do. George Harrison did appear on Saturday Night with guest host Paul Simon; Harrison participated in an opening skit about trying to claim the $3000 the show offered for The Beatles to come on the show, as producer Lorne Michaels deadpanned that he thought it was clear the offer was for four people, not just one. Simon and Harrison then teamed up for lovely renditions of “Here Comes The Sun” and Simon and Garfunkel‘s “Homeward Bound.” John and Paul appeared together on a subsequent episode, carrying out John’s initial joke to demand $1500 for an appearance by two Beatles. The former Fabs played two acoustic sets on the show, without outside accompaniment: Eddie Cochran‘s “Twenty Flight Rock” (the first song Paul played for John when they met in 1957), “Norwegian Wood,”and “Blackbird,” then “In My Life” and “Yesterday.” The two harmonized on each song; notably, it was the first time Lennon had ever sung “Yesterday” in public. Later in the same show, John and Paul plugged in with the NBC house band for a blistering medley of “I Saw Her Standing There” and “Rain.”
And with that, John Lennon once again withdrew from the spotlight, making good on his vow to be Sean’s Daddy, nothing more, nothing less. Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr returned to their own careers. The three of them performed together at Eric Clapton‘s wedding to George’s ex-wife Patti Boyd on May 19th, 1979.
John came out of retirement in 1980 for Double Fantasy, a new album with Yoko. He did a short small-venue tour in support of the album, and enlisted the members of his son’s favorite group The Flashcubes to play with him. Lennon had struck up a friendship with the ‘Cubes when he arranged for them to play for Sean at a private party on December 8, 1980, the same night police arrested an armed individual loitering outside The Dakota; the unidentified man killed himself while in custody, leaving many to shudder at the thought of what might have happened if the Lennons had returned home earlier. Paul joined Lennon and The Flashcubes on stage at Carnegie Hall for the encore of their final show in March of ’81.
Sadly, a rift developed between Lennon and Harrison. John felt that he’d been deliberately snubbed in George’s autobiography I Me Mine. Relations between the two were strained for quite some time thereafter, though they eventually made amends. Ringo generally remained on good terms with each of the other three, though even our little Richard occasionally grew tired of always being viewed as a Beatle, no matter what.
The Beatles declined an invitation to perform at Live Aid in 1985. The group’s 1988 induction into The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame offered the seemingly certain prospect of a Beatles reunion, but Paul did not attend, citing the sticking point of still-lingering business disputes with his former co-workers.
Finally, the morass of The Beatles’ Sargasso Sea of legal complications and intricacies was navigated and left behind by the dawn of the ’90s. John, Paul, George, and Ringo cooperated and fully participated in the making of The Beatles Anthology, a comprehensive video history of the act you knew for all those years. Proposals for a new Beatles album or tour or one-off concert were ruled out immediately, but they performed several songs together on the Anthology video. Although this would be their final full collaboration, all four remained on cordial terms through George’s death in 2001. The others agreed to honor George’s memory by leaving The Beatles in the past. There would be no more public reunions of any kind. In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
As a young band playing bars in Hamburg and Liverpool, The Beatles fantasized of becoming The Toppermost Of The Poppermost. It was a heady, unlikely dream for four ne’er-do-well punks from a rough-and-tumble seaport town. But the dream came true. Decades later, we dream on still.
The dream isn’t over. We do believe in Beatles. And you know that can’t be bad.
You can support this blog by becoming a patron on Patreon: Fund me, baby! THE BEATLES: LIVE AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN 1976
Revolution Helter Skelter While My Guitar Gently Weeps You Won’t See Me No Reply Crackerbox Palace Ticket To Ride Strawberry Fields Forever It Don’t Come Easy Come Together Here Comes The Sun Penny Lane Johnny B. Goode Whatever Gets You Thru The Night Maybe I’m Amazed I Am The Walrus Magical Mystery Tour With A Little Help From My Friends Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds Something Back In The USSR Photograph We Can Work It Out Day Tripper What Is Life Let It Be Don’t Pass Me By I Want You (She’s So Heavy) Hey Jude I Don’t Want To Spoil The Party